The Lord of the Diaries: The Fellowship's True Feelings
by Overlord Rousdower
Summary: An up close and personal look to all of our beloved (though not all are loved equally) characters. How does Frodo really feel about his burden? Exactly how much does Legolas hate dwarves? Does Gandalf feel as if he is surrounded by fools just some of the time? Or most of the time? What are Sauron's REAL plans? A story Co-written by Wunderkind4006 and Rousdower *maniacal laughing*.
1. Entry One: Summer Home?

**Disclaimer: We own nothing... yet. **

**Read at your own risk.**

Dear Diary,

ARGH!

I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST IT!

ALL THAT POWER ON THE AWESOME ARMOUR-CLAD FINGER OF MY HAND AND I LOST IT! STUPID SWORD! STUPID ISILDUR!

I had the whole thing planned out.

Nice and simple.

Trick the various insipid races of Middle Earth, control them, wreak havoc, create chaos, basically it was going to be one big awesome PARTY OF ALL THINGS DARK AND EVIL AND IT WAS GONNA BE EPIC!

But nooooo… they HAD to have a stupid elvish scum sword. I JUST HAD TO ZONE OUT IN DELUSIONS OF MURDEROUS GRANDEUR!

I MUST FIND IT! Only nooooow I am reduced to mere WRAITH-LIKE capabilities.

I don't know what to do with myself… *sob*

WHERE? WHERE COULD I GO?

I need to go terrorize a village… Scare small children…

That should clear my head.

Maybe my wraiths have finished cleaning up Dol-Guldur… That will make a beautiful summer home…

Speaking of which… Muaha...

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

~ Sauron the All-Powerful-Maiar-Dude-Who-Was-THIS-CLOSE-To-Ruling-The-World

**A/N: Hi. This is Rousdower.**

**So... Wunderkind4006 and I, have decided to write this story... if it can be classified as such. Prepare yourselves, because we are NOT a safe pair... *evil laugh***

**The author notes will be written by whoever wrote what you read.**

**Until next time (which shall be pretty soon).**

**Rousy out_**


	2. Entry Two: Not Obsessed!

**'Sup...Wunderkind4006 reporting for duty *salutes* So my boy Isildur got a lil sumfin' sumfin' to say about interferin' elves! In saying that I think he is rather deluded...you can judge for yourselves? This my subtle code...review...please...and thank you! *grins***

**Oh and...I own nothing...unfortunately...if I did I wouldn't be here, I'd be spending my millions in an island that I would fashion to look like middle earth. And I would fill it with the guys who acted in lotr's and the hobbit and basically have the time of my life. But I don't own any of it...all hail Professor Tolkien!**

Dear Diary;

Elrond is a pouncy git! No really…he is completely not talking to me because I ignored him and kept my ring. Yes, MY ring…mine…my own! I have no idea what he is talking about when he says that I am 'obsessed' with it. I am not obsessed, I just appreciate finely crafted, exquisitely beautiful, mesmerizingly powerful, lusciously golden, wonderfully precious…ahem…see? not obsessed.

So I have decided, because I am King and King's get to decide things and everyone just has to like it…okay Elrond? You pointy eared jerk! Anyways, I have decided that I am going to keep this precious ring of mine as a sort of heirloom. Yup, I think I deserve it. After all, I fought for it and Dad too…poor Dad, may he rest in peace…so I think he would agree that this is our spoils of war.

I mean, what is the worst that could happen, eh? The excessive armour clad, power hungry lunatic is just a puff of smoke now…doubt he can cause anymore havoc without working limbs. *chortles* he doesn't even have a finger to display this marvelous piece of excellent jewellery on. Thanks to me…Bahaha best of luck picking your ugly great nose now, you great big freak!

Utter shame to destroy such a beautiful ring anyway, especially when it suits me so well.

I am sooo going to be the greatest King ever with this little nugget! Everyone will be so happy I kept it…and I will totes win that wager with Elrond. Oh I am so made!

King Isildur the Magnificent (ooo sounds memorable…yes I like this title)


	3. Entry Three: Elves Aren't Babysitters!

**Since Isildur has had his opportunity to rant...tis only fair Elrond has his. Poor Rondy...he has a lot to contend with... Thanksss everyone for the kind reviews, Rousy and I are delighted with the feedback...so have some cake and celebrate with us fellow enjoyers of humor. Much love and feelings of gratitude sent your way. R &amp; R folks? Pleeeeasseee and thank you! Wunderkind **

Dear Diary;

I should have just pushed him in.

Why did I not just drop kick that irritatingly dense human into the fiery chasms? WHY… Did I actually waste my breath trying to reason with an idiotic oaf? And they make him a King? The intelligence of men eludes me!

No! Stop it Elrond...must think logically. Humans are weak, it's not their fault that they indirectly set us back a thousand years! Oh for the love of Eru this is going to be a headache to clean up! As usual, stupid mortals cause havoc and just leave it to the elves to fix, like we are their damn babysitters...*sighs*.… face it Rondy, you're a glorified nanny for middle earth. Next I'll be running an orphanage...I am too nice, far too soft for my own good.

I just cannot believe we where this close… thiiisssss clooossssse to destroying evil forever. I will never live this down, bloody mother in law is already bringing it up at every visit, she thinks I should have pushed him?! Rid the world of Isildur's egotistical delusions.

*sighs* There is no impressing that elleth. If it's not the lack of grandchildren, or the cleanliness of Imladris, or apparently my shoddy foresight in which I didn't foresee Isildur running off with that trashy looking ring, it's the fact that I'm clearly not tough enough. Well next time, she can fight Sauron and see how easy it is! In-laws, pfftttt, shudda stayed single, like Gil-galad advised! He had it made...

\- Lord Elrond Half-elven (that half is very important you know).


	4. Entry Four: The Sign Is Going UP!

Dear Diary;

So it has come to my attention that the day of my eleventy-first birthday is fast approaching. Much MUCH too fast for my liking. All my affairs are not yet in order and I can get absolutely nothing done with these confounded well-wishers incessantly calling every two minutes. This is Bag-End, not the local inn! My pantry is completely depleted, I shall be lucky if I have a loaf of bread and a block of cheese left from all these afternoon teas, I think I have had five – FIVE – afternoon teas this afternoon. Yes that is right FIVE teas in one afternoon…I can barely buckle my breeches! I shall be the size of my dear old companion, Bombur, if I keep eating at this rate and it will be entirely the fault of these distantly related cousins who keep crawling out of the wood work!

I bet they are just checking to see if I am about ready to kick the bucket. Oh no, not me, not yet. Nope! I am fresh as a daisy and as spritely as a wood elf! Plenty of years left yet and I intend to use them wisely... or unwisely as some folks around here might be inclined to put it. You see, I fancy another adventure. A proper adventure, not a dander to the Shire borders and back with the young whippersnapper. Speaking of that uncourteous little whelp, I wonder where Frodo has disappeared off to today. Helpfully vanishing exactly when I need him the most! Does that boy not know there is a party to plan? Honestly I have to do everything myself!

Oh balderdash…what was I talking about…ah yes! The adventure to end all adventures. My grand escape from this provincial and most dreadfully boring life, my one last hurrah! Yes. I can just envisage it now…..

…..

…..

OH BLAST IT ALL! There goes the door again! THAT IS IT I AM ERECTING A SIGN…

"No admittance except on Party business."

Yes, that shall do it. Now, I can daydream of my future adventure peacefully and without rude untimely interruptions from nosey neighbors. Ah, it will be wonderful, and when I have had my fill of spectacular adventures, I will retire to my old friend Rondy and finish my book! I am sure he won't mind, the last I heard, he is practically running a holiday home out in Rivendell. All the who's who know about it, honestly it is true! Decent old chap, that Elrond, you can always count on him for top notch hospitality in a high end establishment, free of charge.

Now back to party planning, but first I think I shall have some of that loaf and cheese, oh and a nice big mug of tea. In fact I think I shall leave the planning for Frodo when he gets back from lollygagging about the woods. Boy needs to be taught the meaning of a decent days work! Now where did I put my tea cosy?

Your old friend Bilbo Baggins

P.S. Remember to put that old ring of yours in that envelope for Frodo and leave it on the mantle, because…well…I don't remember why I wanted to leave him that ring? I mean it might come in useful during my adventures? No! No! Bilbo old lad, you promised you'd leave everything to Frodo…now just you go and put it in the envelope right this minute. Well sure it is of no urgency you can wait until tomorrow, besides I think I have run out of envelopes?


	5. Entry Five: Save Me Gandalf!

**Disclaimer: WE OWN NOTHING.**

Dear Diary;

He's late.

He's LATE. WHY IS HE LATE. HE IS MY TICKET OUT OF WORK.

Ahem.

I currently sit under a tree.

By a road.

It took me awhile, but I managed to escape from my senile old uncle.

And now I'm waiting. And Gandalf is late.

It's been so stressful lately. Uncle Bilbo had been preparing for that stupid party, and he's making ME deal with almost everything. INCLUDING the relatives. I've had to do ACTUAL WORK! With all this PLANNING my head is hurting sooo much!

To add on to all of that horrid stuff, my uncle has been growing very spacey. He is always writing in that book, and he makes me get my own food! He actually made me cook the other day! COOK! The injustice of it!

WHYYY ISN'T GANDALF HERE TO SAVE ME!

HE COULD DISTRACT BILBO FOR ME! I could go to the pub and have FUN! I'M STILL YOUNG! I DON'T DESERVE THIS NEGLECT!

… I think that is my uncle calling. But.. I'm reaaallly not sure. Sooo.. I'm just gonna stay here.

… IS THAT CARRIAGE WHEELS!? IT'S GANDALF!

I'M SAVED!

\- Frodo the Neglected (it's true!)

**A/N: Wundy wrote the last one. I didn't realize I didn't get the author note from her until I posted it, and then I was like... meh. **

**But. This is ROUSY! Hiiii... I don't have much to say. I hope you liked this! Thank you to all of our reviewers, followers and favoriters!**

**R&amp;R please!**

**Star tuned for... GANDALF! Woot!**

**Rousy out_**


	6. Entry Six: What A Day

Dear Me;

I write now, from dear, senile, doddering, old Bilbo's pathetic excuse for a home. I have a bump on my head, and a rather short temper.

I had had a relatively nice travel across Arda, until, of course, Frodo jumped me.

What a wannabe.

I wonder, did he think I didn't see him dawdling? And then he had the _cheek _ to say that I was late. What a petulant child!

And then a bunch of hobbit urchins go and pester me to set off some of my sacred fireworks… I couldn't deny them. It would've ruined my public figure!

WHY do I even bother?

And then Bilbo mistook my gesture of, 'It's me!' For, 'Come give me a hug!' So I had to put up with that…

And now he is trying to stuff food down my throat. He's certainly become an overbearing host… He certainly wasn't like this sixty years ago…

But… I must prepare for the party.

The party full of drunk hobbits doing idiotic things.

Fools.

**Note to Self**; Do NOT lose sight of those two mischief makers… what were their names? Ah.. Brandybuck and Took.

Also fools.

Sincerely Gandalf of Too Many Names to List.

P.S. I address this to myself, because I am the only one sensible enough to entrust this information with.

**A/N:**

***winces***

***shoves Wundy away***

**My fault my fault my fault.**

**Alllll my fault. No excuse except for that, I am laaazyyy.**

**In other words.. REVEIW! And tell us how overjoyed you are at the update! *shrinks from Wundy's withering glare***

**Kidding kidding…**

**Thank you everybody who reviewed, favorited and followed! you are all epicly awesome!**

**Rousdower out_**


	7. Entry Seven:Adventures Are Like Pipeweed

Dear Diary,

I write this as I sit below a tree in the dark and cold, and contemplate my stupidity at leaving for an adventure in the middle of the night. Yes, I know that I have stated before that adventures are nasty and troublesome things… and they are! But… they are also rather like pipeweed… once you've had it, you can't stop getting it!

Well, anyways, this evening has been rather eventful… I played a _wonderful _trick on those poor hobbits… Slipped on my ring and POOF! Heheh, poor saps. And then Gandalf had to ruin all my fun… I almost got away!

With… with…

My…

**_Precious_**.

But no! Old git… he could sense an ant about to steal a breadcrumb! How does he do it?!

Well… I should get some shut-eye before some nosy old farmer comes and rats me out…

Sincerely, and with much regret regarding the abandonment of his precious,

B. Baggins

**A/N Sup! Rousdower here, with another entry! Sorry about the wait lol! There have been several… distractions… *cough*stories*cough***

**Hopefully the next installment shall be up relatively soon! I was thinking of writing it… and then realized it was one in the morning and thought 'Yawn', so yeah.**

**Rousdower out_**


End file.
